People Vs Larry Flint

This movie is about how a guy ,who runs the porn industry of US takes on a popular Pastor.
It is based on a true story.
The famous trial in US supreme court was dubbed, 'God Vs Devil'.
The movie is worth watching for some thots it brings up about 'Freedom of speech and opinion'.

This weekend jul 21-22

To those who have been, like me, captivated by Ajith's looks in the Posters of Kireedam , i would like to advise you to stay happy with the posters and not to venture into watching the movie. So many things have gone wasted into it let not ur time be wasted too.

As i was skipping cahnnels on the TV as is my wont, i stopped by vijay tv . it was 'koffee with Anu' . She was hosting four singers- Naresh iyer( munbe vaaa frm jillunu oru kadhal), devan( smile frm kandukonden kandukonden), subiksha( kanda naal muthalai frm kandanaal muthal), and madhumitha( kana kaanum kaalangal frm 7G).

There were a few things that caught my imagination on the show. Fst the way Naresh iyer sang his 'munbe vaa...' , he was so much emoted into the song, that the sweetness of the song was trebled.. He had a cute way of speaking and a cute mannerism, it was cute to see his iyer tamil and long curly hair jell together, and the cute smile lingering on the long line of his mouth and the smile reflecting in his eyes.

i was bowled over with the ease Devan handled the guitar.

The third thing that caught my eyes and kept me obssessed for the rest of the show was the gap in Subiksha's tops that made way for some of her tender breast( she was only 18) to show up and kept me hooked on to it with hopes that more of it would come up when she laughed...

I laid my hands on 'An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations ' written by Adam Smith, which is considered to be a treatise of modern economic thinking. I have just started with the book, i can already appreciate what a magnum opus i am reading. ( the only thing is that i happen to fall asleep before i finish a page probably bcos i am not sure y i shld be reading it.)

I attended a mock CAT test conducted by IMS. I manged to stay awake thru the 2.5 hrs of the test duration. That wld tell you how i fared. i was more concerned about desecrating the ladies toilet of that college. The venue was Stella mary's college on cathedral road i was wondering where would they have toilet for gents and had reservations to ask anyone about it, lest should i receive mocking glances. It was good to see so many grls at one place and to be in a college atmosphere. i refrained from staring, though, for sanity's sake.

I had made a trip to the RTO's office on monday morning to change the address on my licence. It refreshed the idea of what a stifling environment would be like ,tho this office was better off than most other offices, thanks to its location. I just felt these offices would fare better with procedures notified clearly, otherwise you end up running between offices.

Why shld u read Atlas shrugged

We all have our own philosophies that we live by. We all worship the hero in ourselves.

You should read atlas shrugged to appreciate the superlative degree that u can achieve in the act of visualising and worshiping the hero in urself. And to reinforce the philosophy u live by.

U shld read it to know that there are charecters ,atleast in fiction, that think like u.......That Somewhere sometime a mind of an author has thought about you or your concerns and doubts and has endeavoured to address them.

To know , appreciate and gain a perspective of various kinds of ppl around u.

Those r few reasons i could suggest to u to read AS. I should caution u tho that u might have to persevere thru the fst part, when u r kept guessing abt the hero. But once traces of him start appearing u simply cant put the book down.

I jus wanna make a small detour to write abt the actual act of writing. Now ,the thots that i record here and in various other reflective articles r thots that were concieved say somewhere in the middle of sleep or while bathing or while in the loo or while simply staring at the space...Once conceived the mind simply keeps building on that thot. it keeps building it on and on until at one point u feel the pangs of delivery ( similar to that of carrying and delivering a child) and the necessity to record these thots in some form or the other so that u can feel relief. This feeling is not restricted only to the act of writing but to every act of creativity, i believe.

If

I was jus reading about Ayn rand in wikipedia, and came to know that "if" is a poem someone read at her funeral. This was written by Rudyard Kipling. Thanx to wikisource i could read the poem staright away and share it with u.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Redezvous with Aynrand

I fst met ayn rand thru her book 'Fountain head' . I loved that book. Now i had a chance to meet her again thru 'atlas shrugged'. I am only half way thru the book. But i jus wanted to record a few thots. These m8 be premature.....

I dont find this as gripping a read as FH, atleast the fst part that i have read so far . For one , she doesn't talk abt its hero John Galt until much later in the novel, save for frequent passing references to him in the initial stages that make u rush thru the book to find when john actually comes into the pic.

Whereas in FH you were always in tuch with Howard roark ,the hero . U were happy to always remain struck to his magnetic persona. It was reassuring that he was always around. And u were always reading abt wat was happenin to him and wat he was up to.

In AS u had to be content reading abt everyone except john. With only the repeated passing references to John that the different charecters make.

And further these charecters took different shapes, as the novel progressed . She has made the charecters look complex by letting different facets of the char be revelaed at different stages. Wheres in FH it was one clean image each char held on to.

Sema hot machi

If i were awake and at my house u could know that by the noise Radio mirchi makes. Radio mirchi plays lively music , that put u back on ur feet and wanna move. I jus remeber a friend trying to meditate on " keep moving" to gather momentum, for otherwise u might gather moss.



Its Rjs have( ajay and siva r my favs. Deva has a cool tone. Miss senthil in ladies' colony, he is now hosting someother show. Miss suchi , she used to set the city ablaze from 7 to 11) the knack of reaching straight to u. They make the journey thru the traffic in the city a seemless one. Kudos to the team who help us keep moving.....


However they have the habit of repeating the songs, so much to the extent u could jus tune in to the radio at any time and know wat song to expect.



I resort to other cahannels for variety. FM gold plays some all time best. It plays songs to suit the mood ( rainy day) . It enjoys a gr8 fan following outside the city, especially with those who lead a relaxed lifestyle.

The Redeemer - the vision...!

There is this grl who lives upstairs in my qtrs. She has jus finished college and looks good enuf to attract attn and too much of that for a parched land like me.

I had jus got wet in a sweet drizzle, come to my door , rang the bell and was waiting for the door to be opened. At that moment the door opp to our house opened and the child who lives there came out with his sweet baby walk. I could sense that someone was coming towards him to lift him up.

I looked up and there was this grl stretching her hands out to this baby, all smiles... ( i, for a moment stupidly wished those hands were stretched for me) . At that moment the picture the grl presented resembled that of the Redeemer statue in Brazil.

Eureka..........!

Finally i got hold of Gai3 in Orkut. It was a tuf time searching for her amidst 1000s of results for 'Gayathri'.

I spent time looking at her scrap book. Being in her orkut page was like spending time with her. Getting to know her thru her profile and the scraps.

Thanx to orkut for giving me this feeling of delight at knowing more abt her.

Chennai 600028

This is a cool movie.

I had not watched movies for almost 2 months since leaving HCL, an affront to my movie watching craze that used to be as good as watching 2 to 3 movies a week when i was in HCL. I had got so fed up of watching movies all alone that at one point i decided i would hereafter go for a movie only if i had a pair ( ofcourse of the opp sex).

Having waited for more than two months and having missed two films that had hit the theateres in a big way, that made ppl stop and take stock of them in an imppressive way, i was standing aside still waiting for a pair. Then i thot it was time i watched the 2 movies- unnale and chn28. So made time this weekend to watch them.

Unnale is good only for the songs and the refreshing face of tanisha.

chn 28, made me just sit back n enjoy . i felt sad that the movie ended . i just wished the simple fun kept going. My frnds who had already seen the movie were talking so much abt the movie that i had heard most of the movie b4 i saw it onscreen. but that only helped me app the movie better.

Chn 28 is a simple movie, so rich in the portrayal of the different charecters that u can very much relate the cahrs with the ppl we come across in our neighbourhood. All the charecters seem to have been taken straight out of real life.

The music is lively, makes u wanna gang up together and rock( jalsa and mela eri varom) . The bgm for the matches reminds u of a pub atmosphere. 'Yaro' is an all capturing melody. All actors have jus lived their roles naturally , seemingly without an effort. You can only be left awestruck with the ease and execution of the performances. Too good.

U jus wished life were as simple and full of fun as chn 28.

Seven

There was alot of hype all around abot this day, 07/07/70, especially among the christian community. The church near our house was thronged by visitors ( all beautifully dressed, a feast for the eyes). I did not venture to find out wat was the occasion bcos i had to leave to attend a Christian congregation at St.George's ground ( Opp to Pachaiyappa's college). The meeting was called 'Seven', it seems they believed that this was a spl day on which they would be delivered. And my business there?, well, Gayathri was there.

The meeting was over crowded there was sparsely any place to stand. so it was impossible get near the stage. I could guess that she was on the stage as a part of the choir . but all those grls in the choir looked similar, that too from that distance i could not figure her out. There were giant screens put up, but they were focussing only on the pastor. But i wanted to see her. I wanted to see her expressions. i wanted to fill my heart with her, for she had not responded to my calls or msgs and made me yearn more for her.

I made my way thru the crowd to get near the stage, just a few steps ahead i could figure her out. I was content that i had studied her enof to figure her out from that distance and so very readily. I was very happy to get those first glimpses of her back. i was happy to recognise her mannerisms with her hair and relate them to wat i had studied. I stood there looking at that pic of beauty.

Whenever the choir was called upon to sing there was sudden surge of ecstasy in her face, she would look up at the sky and sing 'jesus' with a feeling of joy reflecting in her face. When the pastor called out for testimonials, she would look out eagerly to those testimonies. She would suddenly radiate with joy when they have given their testimony and the pastor calls out to everyone to thank god for the miracle. Otherwise she would look lost in the middle of nowhere.

She looked like a grl completely absorbed, amidst the crowd of activity. i was standing there amidst those believers , my eyes riveted on her enjoying the glimpse of her expressions.

They released a cd of prayers, 'for u alone , desperate' on the occassion. They showed a small of video of the making of the cd. i could see her in that video again absorbed and radiating love.

I stayed back after the meeting was over to see who she had come with. she was there with someone, i did not want to go upto her just to save my self from the embarassment of being ignored , i rather opted to stay ignored.

Otherwise about the congregation itself, i noticed that the youngsters were putting in a lot of passion and energy in to the carols they were singing. However certain happenings on the stage looked theatrical.

My heart only went out to Gai. I prayed for her to be blessed, for the kind of feelings she radiated while singing , for the energy she was putting into the songs. I just wished she finds the truth sooner. I wanted to hug her and shed all my love on her so that she would not have to seek anything at all.

Sivaji again...

S'day i saw sivaji again. Jus wanted to write abt it.

Sivaji is a simply a festival of Rajni. Its a celebration of everything that Rajni stands for. His style, looks, performance, entertaining skills. Thanx to shankar he has given Rajni a suitable stage for Rajni to showcase his array of talents.

I jus wanted to add a word abt the actual film watching experience in Sathyam. Anyone who has been to Sathyam wld know wat a different experience film watching is over there. You also feel good to be amongst that crowd. And the professional approach of their staff, right from the guys who help you with parking makes u feel u r in a good place.

e4e and my job

i thot i would share with u the nature of my job.

Well, fst let me tell u abt my company. e4e stands for 'enterprise for enterprise' it was founded by one, kbc ( k.b.chandrashekar) as a capital seeding company helping out fresh entrepreneurs, it was then called entrepreneurs for entrepreneurs. As time went by e4e had considerable stake in many small entities like iseva, vincitti,..etc. it then seemed to be the next step to consolidate all this together and form e4e in its present form.

Thus e4e has added value to many organisations by managing their infrastructure, health projects , finance and also technical( someow they prefer to callthemselves bizness solns provider than a bpo) . I am into a project where we support symantec antivirus for enterprises. we recieve calls from enterpirse customers who have issues with their syamantec product.

I was earlier working on hcl supporting an isp, BT . Then we used to support home users who have issues with their internet connectivity.

In e4e in my project we have around 60 ppl. we support all regions. so we work 24*5.

Thanks giving

I would like dedicate this entry to expressing my gratitude to a few websites that have become very much a part of me.

google.com- for having been a beacon and a ready reckoner

en.wikipedia.org- for enlightening about anything and everything.. for having made knowledge so easily accessible.

mail.yahoo.com- for keeping me posted.

orkut.com- for keeping my frnds only a click away.

blogspot.com- for letting me be the open book , i wish to be.

topcelebs.com- for showing me beautiful love making scenes from movies.

friends..........and the pursuit of happiness?

I am not sure if this is the case only with me or if everyone feels the same. I feel i dont have any friends at all. I was watching 'Happiness formula' on BBC .They had some very good results , ofcourse after quite a lot of research. The results appealed to me:

1. The lesser the time u spend in front of television, the happier u wld be. The effect of TV on happiness was very evident in the case of Bhutan where televisions were introduced , the last nation to do so, in 1999. To make the job of a researcher easier , Bhutan govt infact has a gross national measure of happiness. We, it seems, prefer to spend b4 tv bcos its so easy; jus a click and its ther.

2. The program then talked abt ppl being happier when they r with their frnds. very true, aint it. on a lighter but poignant note they said ,'Americans spend more time watching 'friends' than actually being with them.'

I always i had wished i had friends with whom i cld share my interests, go places, explore a lot, spend my liesure with, share my love and understanding. But i have only come to realise such a coterie of ppl with common shared interests is a rarity.

It has been easier to find ppl with whom u can form groups and being together means firing a bunch of cigarates and going out means going out to the pub and talkin means talking abt money or women.

3. Happiness mostly lies in things that we dont have to spend much like spending time with friends, in the park , in the museum ( we tend to mostly visit places for photo's sake).

"According to happiness research, friendship has a much bigger effect on average on happiness than a typical person's income itself.
One economist, Professor Oswald at Warwick University, has a formula to work out how much extra cash we would need to make up for not having friends.
The answer is £50,000. " ( bbcworld.com/happiness)

4. Being richer doesn't mean happier. bcos we always tend to compare ourselves with others.

"Scientists think they know the reason why we do not feel happier despite all the extra money and material things we can buy.
First, it is thought we adapt to pleasure. We go for things which give us short bursts of pleasure whether it is a chocolate bar or buying a new car.
But it quickly wears off.
Second, its thought that we tend to see our life as judged against other people. "

5.Happiness and longevity:

"In one study, the difference was nine years between the happiest group and the unhappiest group, so that's a huge effect.
"Cigarette smoking can knock a few years off your life, three years, if you really smoke a lot, six years.
"So nine years for happiness is a huge effect."

6. Goals and a meaningfullife

"The second vital ingredient is having meaning in life, a belief in something bigger than yourself - from religion, spirituality or a philosophy of life.
The third element is having goals embedded in your long term values that you're working for, but also that you find enjoyable.
Psychologists argue that we need to find fulfilment through having goals that are interesting to work on and which use our strengths and abilities. "

food for thot

Excerpts from a Nadine gordimer interview that appeared in Businessworld:

You sound more pragmatic and less optimistic than in the past. You used to be more of an idealist. You said once in the early 1990s that even though Communism failed, there were still some ideals society could keep from it, namely the desire to change the world and make it a better place. Is there any space left for ideals?

Let’s look at the good aspects. To do so, you have got to go back to other revolutions, to the French Revolution, to 1848, to 1917. There are terrible disappointments about what happened. But some ideas, some changes from each revolution, have remained to change the world: the rights of workers and women’s rights have all been furthered to some extent. But at the terrible expense of such suffering.
Many people of my generation still believed that the great hope for one, just world was indeed Communism or Socialism. We’ve seen it fail horribly, leading to the illusion that capitalism is the right thing. But we’ve seen capitalism fail and failing every day with such poverty and inequality!
We always look or hope for something that will change the world and make it, in a sense, one world. Not that we will lose our individualities, or our languages, or our cultural customs and religions. But there should be a common sense of humanity so we don’t just kill each other.
We have got this lovely term globalisation. But, so far, globalisation is just another big trade pact — the big nations looking to improve trade among one another. We are too preoccupied with materialism. We praise materialism at one moment, and then we speak against it! It is not that I am a pessimist, but optimism in old age is very realistic. Where does all this lead?
It seems that materialism has conquered all. We are urged every day to buy and to see our own image in terms of what kind of car we drive. In the developing countries, this is particularly disastrous. In South Africa, it has led some of our most principal people who were heroes in liberation to make a fool of themselves. Once they are in big positions, they become corrupt because their wives have got to have a Mercedes

How does a self-declared atheist like you cope with the global resurgence of religion in recent years?

Religion is a great source of violence. That's why Amartya Sen’s book Identity and Violence is so important. In a word, we’re put into boxes. You are told you are a Muslim or a Jew, I am told I am a Christian, and this is our identity. Sen points out that there is no such thing as a single identity. Each of us has many identities.
Religion tells you what you are, but it does not define what I am or what you are. We are many things. We must allow society to see and to understand that we cannot be boxed into a single identity. Boxing an individual's identity contradicts the spirit of modernity. And that goes for race or ethnicity as well.

Journalists like to ask older and wiser people what they’ve learned from life. May I pose that question?

Now that I’m alone with my own old age — my husband of 47 years died six years ago — I find to my amazement it’s like adolescence all over again, in terms of questioning everything, of looking at how you react to other people and the expectations you have from them.
(There’s) this lovely myth that I have heard that old age is kind of a beautiful plateau of calm and acceptance of the world, full of wisdom. Well, there is no wisdom at old age. It is the same old questioning at yourself and everybody else as it was when I was 15. This peace of old age, I am afraid, has not come to me.

Graffiti

"Are you listening "

"Why do u look lost" In response to my staring.

"I hate books" reacting to my frnds comment that i love books.

"You make me feel wanna be a better person" - As good as it gets

" The ego of a man is the Fountainhead of human progress" Ayn rand

" Avan "Athiruthu illa" nu solrathula sathame illa... ana athukku theatreley orey sound. illam vetti payaluga polapa pakuratha vittutu....." - Over heard someone who did not like Rajni.

I know in the present, circumstances my faith in God would have made my life easier, my burden lighter and my disbelief in Him has turned all the circumstances too dry and the situation may assume too harsh a shape. A little bit of mysticism can make it poetical. But I, do not want the help of any intoxication to meet my fate. I am a realist. I have been trying to overpower the instinct in me by the help of reason. I have not always been successful in achieving this end. But man's duty is to try and endeavor, success depends upon chance and environments. Bagat Singh in 'Why I am an Atheist'

Sivagami et al.

Today morning i woke up after a short sleep of 4 hrs after the n8 shift. Somehow i was in a a mood to muse a lot. Hence this entry.

Ever since i opend my eyes, and infact even earlier when i had actually lost sleep and was actually trying not to loose the continuity by tightly closing my eyes, Rajni's song "podhuvaga en manasu thangam" was playing in my ears, particularly the begining part "annanukku jey....". It was kind of giving me a lot of enthu. I was jus lying down and wondering about the kind of positive energy that can flow from a song. I wanted to make it my hello tune. I wondered y did i have "Iayyao..." frm paruthiveeran as my hello tune. It was ofcourse for the love in it.

Then i wondered y were i so much obsessed with love... Well , this takes me a lot backward....Having grown up mostly in hostels , r8 frm 1st std till 8 th,.... my father having to relocate frequently thot it wise to put me in hostel so that my edn would not break... so mostly my idea of a motherly affection came frm wat i saw in movies, mostly portrayed by manoramma- my idea was that of a infinitely loving, infinitely tender, most graceful, all knowing and beautiful in her own way person ...... dont blame me for such a naive mindset... that is wat i grew up to believe a mother wld be like ,thanx to the movies and my distance from and the resulting yearning for her .

It was somehow a big dissappointment for me to discover the limitations in my mother when i started to live frm home frm 8 th std.... not that she actually had any shortcoming, ..she was jus like anyother mother... but i had to be content with continuing to yearn for that picture of mother... i believe i still am. I believe it is the yearning for those qualities in a person that makes me attracted to the grls i have been since.

Roshni, Divya, Priya, Tharani, Suganya, Archana, Rekha, Faheema, Kirthika, and now Gayathri.... I have missed mentioning many , for they m8 have been too shortlived. It was always a case of yearning and deep pain with each of them.

It jus occured to me that i had to undergo all that pain bcos i was doing a mistake. okay that much for commonsense. But all this while i wld neither know wat mistake it was or y i was doing that mistake. Today it jus occured to me that the mistake was that i , in the fst place, had too very naive expectations out of my mother and since i missed it i was looking for it elsewhere... it was a mistake to miss something at one place and search for it in another, i wld finally end up having nothing.

I feel good that i have realised this. Its secondary if i make amends to my outlook. but having discovered the wound is quite relieving. By the way, Sivagami is my fst love and pain, my mother...... (in pic: Venus de Milo)

Hospital again..

My grandfather developed illnesss again this sunday. This time it was a case of continuous vomiting. nothing stayed in his stomach, he puked every thing .And had severe stomach pain. We Took him to the hospital. This time it was Sundaram foundation, My father seems to have subscribed to the idea of brand value and he seems to have bought the crediblity of the TVS family. So he decided that we could put our faith in them.



It was almost 11 o clock in the n8 when we reached there. Only the emergency entrance was open, as is the case with the nature of the hour we arrived. ONly one 'attender' could be let in. I opted to stay out and let my uncle go in with grand pa. It was unbearable to be called 'attender' somehow the hospital management had forgotten the word 'relative' , a word that could have avoided so much irritation to me.



My uncle was sent out to pay some regn fees, in the meantime i peeped in to fill in the posn of the 'attender' . My grand pa was already put on a bed with some tubes running abt him. And the sister was questioning my grandpa abt wat was happening and the history of the problem. he was struggling to answer as he was almost exhausted, since he had nothing that could stay on in his stomach. I was shocked and irritated at questions being put to him at that condition. further came the irritanat , 'stay out' . I shouted back saying if they could tell me wat actually was going on. Then the doctor came in , intervened and 'tried to pacify' me where as wat i wanted was a clear answer, telling me wat they had diagnosed and wat was the future course of action, and how much did they think this was gonna cost us. But rather than persisting for the answer, i suddenly became conscious that i had over reacted and accepted the doctor's 'pacification' came out.



soon left for home, leaving my uncle behind. The next day morning i went back at about 9 o clock. no one had cared to appraise my uncle of wat was going on. i went in asked again if someone could explain wat was happening. Then came a big expln. It looks like xray in the abdominal area showed signs of obstruction. and further wat he puked was green in colour, indicating that bile content and pancreatic juice, so the obstrn was somewhere after pancreas.... this obstrn had caused all the vomiting. it seems he had not been in a posn to release gas in the past 24 hrs.



Happy that at last someone had spoken to us, i walked away triumphantly having discovered something and shared the info with my dad and uncle. And left again with my uncle leaving my dad behind, and came back again in 3 hrs , only to find out that the consultant physician had come and gone without bothering to talk to us and grand father, who was in a fatigued condition had to initiate a dialogue on knowing how much the trtmnt wld cost. I was now told it wld cost at least 10 k to tell conclusively wat was happening Ct scan alone cost 5k .This drove me mad again. I wanted to ask the doctor if he did not think it sensible to keep us in confidence abt wat was happening and how much cost we wld have to bear. I just did not use the wrd 'sensible'. This drove him crazy. I did not want to stay there anymore and left my dad and uncle there to decide on the future course.

Wet, wet, wet...

The Monsoon has been very busy this week trying to keep chennai wet. It has been a great climate . A cool sight to watch the trees wet and green, the buildings tho have lost their sheen. This climate almost makes your ears hungry for melody. I only missed some one to hug tight on to and bury my lips into and found myself giving vent to that feeling of helplessness through puffs of cigaratte and regretting later.


It is really unfortunate that many such habits have rooted in me from such helplessness for something else and regretting later. Apart from smoking masturbation goes into that list of habits.



It has been a tough time riding up and down ,20 kms each,to the office. I have to be covered by a raincoat always. It is better that way, otherwise ur dress wld be covered with spraying of mud from the tyres of vehicles going in the front. The roads are slippery. on the way, it would rain at one place and not in another.


In the mean time ,the day before yesterday i went to check the progress of work on the car. It has been a week since i admitted it into the workshop. It has already cost 4000 rs. for the spares alone, atleast thats wat the mechanic claims. Most of the work had to done on the chasis it seems. It seems the car, due to poor suspension, was almost hanging about to break down into pieces. I should have visited a bit earlier to appreciate wat exactly the state was. But now it was late. Only a few more work were pending.

With Gayathri, i feel helpless again. i am not good at speaking. and dont know wat to speak to her. so stand helplessly staring at her. i realise i am doing myself no good by simply staring at her. i would only earn her ire.... i should learn to behave with her.

Gayathri

Okay , alas our hr dept has empathised with us and has recruited a girl for the communication trainer post in the floor. Wow ! she looks gr8, rather cute.... i could not take my eyes off her face. There was a feeling inside me that could be compared to a sweet drizzle in a desert. i forgot to close my mouth. I wanted to sketch her face. i wish i cld record on a paper wat my eyes had captured.

I wish i cld put her pic here. But u know i dont have one and nor wld i have her consent to it. So let me draw her with words. okay, here we go.

Her hair style is that of 'jillunu oru kadhal, second part' Jo's.Big eyes. Big brownish dark eyeballs that almost filled the eyes. Eyelids like an umbrella, opened and shrunk ( thanx to the sw monsoon) . her cheeks were like two slices of apple. complexion wheatish fair. Beautiful lips- full, light pink, very well shaped , shaped like,say, two fishes kissing each other lip to lip , with the tails cut.

The fst day she wore a short shirt and a pant.( she joined on tuesday) the next day she wore a salwar kameez in light green. in that dress she was almost luminous and looked like the moon.

The fst day i think at some point she got tired of my staring and vied to tell me something, thank god, i was on a call then, she wld have certainly blasted me otherwise.

The next day, she got going with her job and wanted to have a chat with each of us. I was the fst one . i was very excited.

i was so glad to be so near her that my eyes were relishing every bit of her face and her eyes. She was telling me why she called for this chat at one point suddenly stopped and asked if i were listening. Now it was my turn to speak, she put a few qsns and wanted to listen to me speak so that she can assess my language. okay, now i cld nt see her, i had to speak. i was glad that i was speaking to her, and the qsns were of sort of my interests and such things, i was glad to share it with her.

she has a very sweet smile. her face lingers in my memory....